I became a proactive truant and got depressed in my first year of high school because of the intimidating and closed environment and teachers. While at home, I was thinking about my purpose of attending school, studying, and living all the time. Eventually, I got a straightforward and obvious but essential purpose for living.
The reason why I am living is just to be happy. And if something bothers me, I can and should run away from it to be satisfied.
After I got this value, my depression almost recovered, and I felt free. I transferred to a famous online high school in Japan in my second year. It was a great decision. I could make great friends and meet great teachers. More than anything else, because I had more free time, I was inspired by a classmate to participate in extracurricular activities such as organizing events and joining presentation competitions, which allowed me to learn about a new world that I had never known before. Also, it is a high school known as an advanced education system; there was an academic path support division of universities overseas, which kind of opportunity is rare in Japan. Because there was such support, I could join the online Oxford summer program and learn about the system of foreign universities to grasp and think about them deeply and rethink my life goals. As a result, I am now in a U.S. community college and aiming to transfer to a four-year university. I wish I had recognized myself sooner and escaped sooner before I became depressed.
So far, it’s been my story; I want to write what I can say from now on. We have to endure, but we also have to escape. Without context and background, we can’t decide which option to take. We need to consider whether there are enthusiastic dreams beyond the pain. We need to think critically and ask ourselves if we think so. Unsurprisingly, our lifetime is finite, and everyone will die. So, when we think about how to make the most of our limited time and be happy, it is highly contradictory and self-destructive to put up with painful situations that do not align with our dreams and goals. However, quitting what you have kept doing is risky, and you might need to find out whether the pain leads you to your enthusiastic dream. In that case, it will be very effective to take your time for holidays or vacations and do journaling or stuff like that to rest your mind. By taking distance from the pain temporarily, you observe your situation objectively. Running away from the pain is the opposite of running away from life. It entails happiness, dreams, and real life. The mindset we need to have is not a binary choice of whether to run away. It’s moving forward toward your objects to be happy. Regardless of what others say, your life is yours, and my life is mine.